Category: Red Stapler

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Engineering Dept just put Grapes in the Microwave

Tweeting about it was the obvious thing to do

Let me set the scene: It was about 2:30 PM, I needed to stretch my legs and get some water. As I entered the kitchen at work, I saw the Engineers clustered around the microwave, some of them with their faces mere inches from the glass. At this point, I had no idea what they were up to, but one thing was painfully obvious.

It’s been about 6 weeks since I’ve had to make a $20 donation to Vanguard on behalf of my sanity at work. It was a good run. But we all know, good things come to an end.

Thankfully there is still a voice of reason out there.

But there are others who knew exactly what the Engineers were doing. This seemed alarming to me.

Plasma: an ionized gas consisting of positive ions and free electrons in proportions resulting +/- no overall electric charge, typically at low pressures or at very high temperatures

Google and YouTube confirmed it. And this is how we learn.

Still seems like a bad idea. Like the time they put a lightbulb in the microwave…

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What is Your Emergency?

Lady at work tries to place an outgoing call. She dials 9 for an outside line, 1 for long distance, and her finger slips and she dials 1 again.

This happens to her a lot. 4th time in 6 months. Possibly on purpose..?

Another $20 to Vanguard.

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Boiling Point

The Engineers.  At work.  Bickering about the boiling point of water.  Celcius and Farenheit.

They are electrical engineers.  This should not apply.

I could feel my blood beginning to boil.  So I sent another $20 to my Vanguard fund. 

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Tracking Number

At work today…

  • me:  Hi Customer, here is the tracking number for your shipment.
  • customer:  Thanks, what is the tracking number.
  • me:  See highlighted below.
  • customer:  Is this for what I ordered?
  • me:  Go fuck yourself.

OK, that last comment was in my head, but I was screaming it silently all afternoon, and Vanguard has another $20 for my future. 

And why is this repetitive task not yet automated at my company?  Over the course of weeks/months/years x 250+ people, it really erodes the highest and best use of time and resources.  I double checked and all the required data exists in the systems.  It should be a matter of writing a script to link those relevant data fields into an email template and auto-send at the point of processing the shipment.  So I fired off an email to The Dude Who Does That… we shall see what happens…

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Paper Trail

Lady at the office walks into a meeting with toilet paper hanging out of her pants like a tail.  Not the first time this has happened.  I silently stare out the window so I don’t lose my shit. 

As soon as I get back to my desk, I transfer $20 into Vanguard towards my next investment buy.  I use these moments of office insanity to further motivate my savings rate.

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s a good job.  A great company.  I like my work.  Mostly.

But I want more from my life.  So I save more.  It’s a direct aspect ratio.